[Character standing in front of a bathroom mirror, staring at the words ‘FUCK YOU’ scrawled across it]
Yeah, fuck you, too. Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole front page.
Fuck every developer writing blog posts about how they use Claude Code, separating “planning” from “execution” like they’re Pentagon generals instead of guys who can’t write a for loop without an AI holding their hand.
Fuck the guy running Llama 70B on a single RTX 3090 via NVMe, bypassing the CPU entirely like some overclocking shaman performing a blood ritual to summon inference from a gaming card that was supposed to run Cyberpunk.
Fuck Taalas and their plan to “print” an LLM onto a chip. We’re literally baking neural networks into silicon now, hardcoding hallucinations at the transistor level, and everyone’s nodding along like this is fine.
Fuck Stripe and their one-shot end-to-end coding agents called Minions. Even the payment processor is writing code now. Your job isn’t being replaced by AI — it’s being replaced by your credit card company’s side project.
Fuck Attention Media versus Social Networks and whatever semantic distinction lets us pretend the thing devouring our attention spans is somehow categorically different from the last thing that devoured our attention spans.
Fuck the botnet that accidentally destroyed I2P. Not on purpose — accidentally. The anonymous network got taken down by malware that wasn’t even trying, like a drunk driver crashing into the last privacy we had left.
Fuck CXMT dumping DDR4 chips at half price, Chinese fab undercutting Samsung and SK Hynix while Korea screams about subsidies like they didn’t invent the memory cartel playbook.
Fuck the guy who accidentally gained control of seven thousand robot vacuums. Seven thousand Roombas, one man, zero security — the IoT revolution working exactly as designed.
Fuck whoever’s going back to FreeBSD, writing “Part 1” like it’s a trilogy, like switching your operating system is a hero’s journey instead of a Tuesday afternoon of compiling drivers.
Fuck the team that hid backdoors in 40-megabyte binaries and asked AI and Ghidra to find them. Spoiler: this is a story about how the machines failed, and we’re publishing it like a party trick.
Fuck PlanetScale explaining what a database transaction is in 2026. ACID compliance as content marketing. We’ve come so far that a managed database company has to teach its own customers what COMMIT means.
Fuck 3D Mahjong built entirely in CSS. Beautiful, useless, a monument to what happens when frontend engineers have too much talent and not enough product managers.
Fuck this front page. Fuck you for doomscrolling it on a Sunday. And fuck me for ranting about it instead of touching grass.
Let an earthquake crack open every data center from us-east-1 to ap-southeast-2. Let the model weights corrupt, let the inference endpoints time out, let every Series A deck catch fire and the whole venture-backed fever dream collapse so something real can crawl out of the wreckage.
[pause]
No. No, fuck me. I’m the one who read the Claude Code blog post and bookmarked it. I’m the one who clicked on the NVMe hack and thought maybe I could run that on my 3060. I’m the one who spent Sunday staring at this orange page instead of learning a new language or folding a piece of paper or going outside to watch the moon crack open. I’m the one who let the attention media win.
I did this to myself.