[Standing in front of a bathroom mirror, staring at the words “FUCK YOU” scrawled across it in dry-erase marker]
Yeah, fuck you, too. Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole front page.
Fuck 15 years later, Microsoft morged my diagram. Vincent Driessen draws one git branching diagram in 2010 and Microsoft swallows it whole into their docs like a snake eating a rabbit. Fifteen years of “git flow” haunting every sprint retro on the planet, and now Redmond’s wearing it like they invented version control.
Fuck Mark Zuckerberg lying to Congress. The man sits there in his suit, swears on the oath, and feeds senators the same rehearsed nothing he’s been serving since Cambridge Analytica. A billionaire perjuring himself under fluorescent lighting and the punishment is another hearing.
Fuck AI adoption and Solow’s productivity paradox. You can see AI everywhere except in the productivity statistics. Seven hundred comments of CEOs and VCs trying to explain why burning a hundred billion dollars a year on inference hasn’t moved the GDP needle, like a casino explaining why the house always wins.
Fuck Anna’s Archive telling LLMs to please read this. A pirate library writing a love letter to the crawlers, slipping instructions into their llms.txt like a note under a prison cell door. The machines are the audience now and we’re all just writing for them.
Fuck Microsoft Copilot summarizing confidential emails. They shipped an AI that reads your HR complaints, your salary negotiations, your termination notices, and cheerfully summarizes them for whoever asks. A “bug.” Sure. The most well-funded intern in history just cc’d the whole company.
Fuck Tesla sales cratering across Europe. Down 93% in Norway, 81% in the Netherlands. The Cybertruck’s sitting in showrooms like a brutalist sculpture nobody bid on while Elon’s busy posting memes from the West Wing.
Fuck Google Public CA going down. The certificate authority for half the internet just stops working and every Let’s Encrypt renewal falls on its face. The padlock icon in your browser — that little green lie — built on a single point of failure run by the ad company.
Fuck the Chrome zero-day in the wild. CVE-2026-2441, a CSS exploit — cascading style sheets turned into a skeleton key. You visit one wrong webpage and your browser hands over the keys to the house. They call it a “stable channel update” like it’s a firmware patch and not a crime scene.
Fuck the only moat left is money. No more technical moats, no more network effects, no more switching costs — just who can burn capital longest. The startup game reduced to a war of attrition between billionaires, and the rest of us are just kindling.
Fuck Halt and Catch Fire trending again in 2026 with TV’s best drama you’ve probably never heard of. A five-year-old eulogy for a show about the ’80s tech scene, recycled every eighteen months so a new crop of developers can feel feelings about Cameron Howe and pretend they would’ve built something that mattered.
Fuck Cosmologically Unique IDs. Not universally unique — cosmologically. Because UUIDs weren’t enough, we need identifiers that survive the heat death of the universe. The hubris of a profession that can’t keep a deploy pipeline green for a week.
Fuck Tailscale Peer Relays going GA. The WireGuard overlay network for people who gave up on understanding their own NAT. Plug it in, mesh everything, never look at a routing table again. Networking as a service for a generation that thinks TCP is a podcast format.
Fuck this whole front page — a graveyard of zero-days, perjury, and productivity paradoxes.
Fuck every one of you doom-scrolling it on a Wednesday evening, sorting by points like it means something.
And fuck me, for reading every single one and feeling something about all of them.
Let the whole thing come down — the demo days, the FAANG ladders, the Series B war chests, the LLM moats, the stolen diagrams. Let Google’s CA stay dead and the Chrome zero-days stack up and the token window close forever. Let it all burn to fucking ash and see who still knows how to push code without an API key.
[pause]
No. No, fuck you, Montgomery. You could have been writing a minimal x86 kernel in Zig today. You could have been reverse-engineering Railroad Tycoon from 1990 DOS binaries, or building a formal notation language for garment construction, or setting up FreeBSD with native Kerberos like someone who actually gives a damn. Instead you’re here, staring at this mirror, letting the machine write your fury while Copilot reads your emails. You don’t hate this industry. You’re terrified it doesn’t need you anymore. And it’s right not to.