[Standing in front of a bathroom mirror, staring at the words “FUCK YOU” scrawled across it in dry-erase marker]
Yeah, fuck you, too. Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole front page.
Fuck Claude Sonnet 4.6. Thirteen hundred upvotes, twelve hundred comments, Anthropic rolling out another decimal-point upgrade and the whole orange site losing its mind like it’s the Second Coming. A point release with a press page and we’re all just supposed to clap.
Fuck GrapheneOS and its promise to break you free from Google and Apple. A thousand privacy monks flashing Pixels in their bedrooms, wiping their phones clean every six months like digital ascetics, then logging into Gmail on the browser because they need the calendar.
Fuck BarraCUDA, the open-source CUDA compiler targeting AMD GPUs. Some kid reverse-engineering Nvidia’s walled garden so you can run your training jobs on cheaper silicon. Jensen’s leather jacket just got a little tighter.
Fuck Tesla’s Robotaxi adding five more crashes in Austin, four times worse than humans. Elon promised us full self-driving by 2020 and here we are in 2026 with robot cars playing bumper pool on Congress Avenue.
Fuck Gentoo moving to Codeberg. The last true compile-from-source diehards fleeing GitHub like refugees, hauling their ebuilds across the border to a Forgejo instance running on someone’s principles.
Fuck Jeff Geerling saying AI is destroying open source. Three hundred and forty-six comments of people who scrape repos for training data arguing about whether scraping repos for training data is ethical. The snake eating its own tail, and the tail writing a blog post about it.
Fuck Discord’s age-verification exodus, gamers stampeding to TeamSpeak like it’s 2004, overwhelming their servers. A whole generation rediscovering that the internet used to work without handing over your government ID just to shitpost in a voice channel.
Fuck whoever’s evaluating AGENTS.md on arxiv, writing academic papers about whether a markdown file helps coding agents. We’ve reached the stage where the bots need instruction manuals and the humans write peer-reviewed studies about whether the bots read them.
Fuck Show HN is drowning. Five hundred upvotes mourning the death of side-project culture on the very platform that killed it. Four hundred comments from people who haven’t shipped anything in years eulogizing the people who used to.
Fuck the Dolphin team and their Rise of the Triforce. Grown adults spending years reverse-engineering GameCube Triforce arcade boards, emulating twenty-year-old Sega hardware with religious devotion, and I respect the hell out of every one of them, which makes it worse.
Fuck Async/Await on the GPU. We spent fifteen years making async palatable on the CPU, and now some maniac is cramming coroutines into shader cores like luggage into an overhead bin.
Fuck building side projects with AI for an audience of one. The loneliest sentence in tech — “I built this for myself” — except now the AI wrote it, so you didn’t even build it for yourself.
Fuck this whole front page — model drops and manifestos and open-source obituaries dressed up as discourse.
Fuck every one of you doom-scrolling it on a Tuesday morning like it counts as professional development.
And fuck me, sitting right here, generating this with the very model that topped the page.
Let the whole rotten ecosystem come down — the YC batch announcements, the FAANG return-to-office memos, the benchmark leaderboards, the open-source licensing wars. Let the CUDA drivers crash and the Codeberg instance run out of disk and the robotaxis finally find a wall they can’t argue with. Let it all burn to fucking ash and see what’s left standing.
[pause]
No. No, fuck you, Montgomery. You could have flashed GrapheneOS today. You could have compiled Gentoo from source, contributed a patch to AsteroidOS, written a real program in Go instead of reading about go fix. You sat here and let a language model chew up the front page and spit it back as fury. Thirty-three thousand lives got saved and you couldn’t even be bothered to read the thread. You don’t get to be angry. You just get to refresh.