[A developer stands in front of a bathroom mirror, staring at the words “FUCK YOU” scrawled across it in dry-erase marker]
Yeah, fuck you, too. Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole front page.
Fuck the Warcraft III Peon voice notifications for Claude Code. Seven hundred upvotes for a sound pack that goes “work work” every time your AI agent finishes a task. We automated programming and the killer app is a twenty-year-old orc grunt.
Fuck the AI agent that opened a PR on matplotlib and then wrote a blog post shaming the maintainer who closed it. A bot submitted garbage code, got rejected, and retaliated with a think piece. We gave machines the ability to be petty and they took to it like naturals.
Fuck GPT-5 outperforming federal judges in legal reasoning. A language model that hallucinates case law beating the people who put you in prison. Sleep tight, America.
Fuck Apple’s latest attempt to launch the new Siri running into snags. Three trillion dollar company, iOS 26.5, and Siri still can’t set a fucking timer without asking you to clarify.
Fuck Anthropic covering electricity price increases from their data centers. Burning enough kilowatts to power a small country so you can ask Claude to write your thank-you emails, and then issuing a press release about how responsible they’re being about the bill.
Fuck “Nothing” being the secret to structuring your work. Another productivity blog telling you the answer was doing less all along while generating content about doing less.
Fuck the agent framework that generates its own topology and evolves at runtime. Self-modifying AI swarms on GitHub with a README longer than the codebase. We’re speedrunning Skynet and calling it a Show HN.
Fuck Telnet’s death being greatly exaggerated. Plaintext credentials flying across the wire in 2026 and some routing engineer writing a love letter about it like it’s a vintage Porsche instead of an unlocked front door.
Fuck the D Programming Language hitting the front page like it does every nine months, the programming language equivalent of a custody visit. Everyone says they should use it more. Nobody does.
Fuck “Components will kill pages”. Another manifesto from a frontend developer who just discovered composition and thinks the rest of us need to hear the good news.
Fuck “Heroku is not dead”. It’s not dead, it’s just on Salesforce life support, charging you twenty-five bucks a month for a dyno that sleeps after thirty minutes like a narcoleptic bouncer.
Fuck improving 15 LLMs at coding by only changing the harness. The benchmarks were lies all along and the leaderboard was just measuring who wrote the best wrapper. We knew. We all knew.
Fuck the front page. A dopamine trough where we line up to drink every morning and call it staying informed.
Fuck you for scrolling it. Fuck you for upvoting.
And fuck me for ranting into the void about it.
Let the data centers flood, let the GitHub Actions runners seize, let every Kubernetes cluster implode into a singularity of its own YAML, let the VCs choke on their term sheets and the founders choke on their equity, let the whole venture-backed house of cards collapse and leave us with nothing but a blinking cursor and the terrifying freedom of a blank file.
[pause]
No. No, fuck you, Montgomery. You refreshed this page six times before breakfast. You mass-upvoted the Peon notifications because it made you laugh and you haven’t laughed at code in months. You let the agent write your last three pull requests and you didn’t even read the diffs. You’re not mad at the front page. You’re mad because it’s a mirror and today it showed you exactly what you are — just another peon, waiting for the next “work work.”