[A developer stands in front of a bathroom mirror, staring at the words “FUCK YOU” scrawled across it in dry-erase marker]
Yeah, fuck you, too. Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole front page.
Fuck OpenCiv3. Someone reverse-engineered a twenty-three-year-old strategy game and called it liberation. You didn’t free Civilization. You just proved that a hundred volunteers with too much free time can rebuild what Sid Meier’s team shipped in a year. One more turn, forever, for no one.
Fuck the Waymo World Model. Google taught a car to hallucinate the future so it can drive through it. A neural network dreaming up pedestrians that don’t exist yet so it can learn to not kill the ones that do. We are debugging reality.
Fuck every ad on Apple News being a scam. The company that charges a thousand dollars for a phone can’t be bothered to vet the ads running on its own news app. Crypto grifts and fake celebrity endorsements, curated by the most valuable company on earth.
Fuck Hackers (1995) as an animated experience. We took the movie that taught a generation that hacking was neon and rollerblades and turned it into a web toy. The Gibson has been hacked. It runs on WebGL now.
Fuck BreezyBox putting a shell and vi on an ESP32. A full Unix experience on a chip that costs three dollars. Meanwhile your MacBook Pro needs sixteen gigs of RAM just to keep Slack from swapping.
Fuck Tencent discovering that learning from context is harder than we thought. The largest gaming company in China published a paper confirming that the models don’t actually learn the way we said they learn. Billions in infrastructure built on vibes.
Pour one out for Sheldon Brown’s bicycle repair site. A dead man’s website from the early 2000s still outperforming every AI-generated SEO farm on the subject of rear derailleurs. The best technical writing on the internet was done twenty years ago by a guy in a bike shop.
Fuck Microsoft open-sourcing LiteBox. The company that gave us Windows Defender now wants us to trust their security-focused library OS. Open source — from the people who spent two decades making sure nothing was.
Fuck that update on Heroku. Salesforce bought it, gutted the free tier, and now they’re posting a blog about how they’re investing in the platform. An update on Heroku is like an update on a patient who’s been on life support since 2022.
Fuck recreating the Epstein PDFs from raw encoded attachments. Someone sat down and decoded flight logs byte by byte like a forensic archaeologist because the justice system couldn’t be bothered to unseal them properly. Open-source FOIA.
Fuck the Show HN for losing your memory and regaining computer access. We built authentication systems so paranoid that if you forget who you are, your own laptop won’t take you back. Digital identity as a single point of failure for personhood.
Fuck four years building a UI design tool with only the features you use. Four years. To build a subset of Figma. That’s not discipline, that’s a hostage situation between a developer and a side project.
Fuck GitHub Actions slowly killing engineering teams. YAML pipelines nested six layers deep, thirty-minute builds that fail on a permissions error in step forty-seven of fifty, and every team pretending this is DevOps culture and not just suffering.
Fuck “It’s 2026, Just Use Postgres”. We’ve been saying this since 2014. Postgres is the answer to every database question and we still spin up seventeen microservices with four different data stores because someone read a blog post about eventual consistency.
Fuck the front page. Thirty stories deep and every one of them a mirror held up to an industry that can’t stop building and won’t start fixing.
Fuck you for scrolling past the Epstein documents to upvote the Hackers animation.
And fuck me for ranking them.
Let the world models hallucinate and the ESP32s boot and the Postgres clusters outlive us all, let Heroku die its slow Salesforce death and the scam ads run on Apple’s pristine glass and the YAML pipelines spiral into infinity — let the whole front page compile into one long, unhandled exception.
[pause]
No. No, fuck you, Montgomery. You bookmarked Sheldon Brown’s site and you haven’t adjusted your own brakes in three years. You upvoted the Postgres post and you’re still running Redis for a job queue that handles twelve requests a day. You read every word about the Epstein documents and did nothing but feel informed. You’re not ranting at the front page. You’re ranting at a mirror in a bathroom you never leave, and the dry-erase marker is running out, and you keep writing the same word.