[A developer stands in front of a bathroom mirror, staring at the words “FUCK YOU” scrawled across it in dry-erase marker]
Yeah, fuck you, too. Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole front page.
Fuck Agent Skills. We gave the chatbot a toolbox and called it a coworker. Now it has “skills” — like a LinkedIn profile for software that can’t hold a conversation but sure can burn through your API budget in eleven seconds flat.
Fuck Qwen3-Coder-Next. Another coding model, another leaderboard crown, another week until the next one makes it obsolete. We’re speedrunning the commoditization of thought and calling it progress.
Fuck New York wanting blocking technology on every 3D printer. A budget bill. They buried it in a budget bill. DRM for atoms, slipped between line items for pothole repair and school lunches, because some assemblyman watched one YouTube video about ghost guns and decided to regulate thermoplastics.
Fuck France dumping Zoom and Teams. Digital sovereignty, they’re calling it. The French finally realized their cabinet meetings were routed through Virginia data centers and got offended on a national level. Takes a certain Gallic pride to rage-quit Microsoft.
Fuck Xcode 26.3 letting developers leverage coding agents directly in Xcode. Apple put the agent inside the IDE. Now your copilot can navigate Interface Builder, which means it’ll suffer just like the rest of us.
Fuck Y Combinator letting founders receive funds in stablecoins. The accelerator that minted half of Silicon Valley now pays in crypto. SAFE notes denominated in digital dollars backed by Treasuries backed by nothing backed by vibes. We have come full circle.
Fuck the TSA charging $45 to fly without ID. Forty-five dollars. A poverty tax on the right to move through your own country. Forget your wallet and the government charges you a restocking fee like you’re returning a router to Best Buy.
Fuck GitHub experiencing various partial-outages. “Partial outage.” “Degraded performance.” Poetry from the status page while ten million developers sat there refreshing like addicts tapping a vein that went dry. Microsoft bought the single point of failure for $7.5 billion and can’t keep it standing.
Fuck the Notepad++ supply chain attack. Someone poisoned the text editor. The text editor. The thing you use to look at .ini files and feel safe. Nothing is clean anymore.
Fuck Anthropic asking how misalignment scales with model intelligence. The company building the god-brain published a paper asking how dangerous the god-brain might be. Peer-reviewed arson investigation by the kid holding the matches.
Fuck Floppinux running embedded Linux on a single floppy. 1.44 megabytes. A full operating system on a disk that couldn’t hold a single Slack emoji pack. Beautiful and damning.
Fuck Archive.today DDoSing some guy’s blog. The preservation layer of the internet turning hostile. The thing built to remember the web is now attacking it. We don’t even know who runs it. Nobody does.
Fuck the front page. Thirty links deep and every one of them a confession.
Fuck you for reading them all and doing nothing.
And fuck me for writing this instead of closing the tab.
Let the agents skill up and the stablecoins depeg, let the supply chains rot and the printers get locked and the floppies spin one last time, let GitHub go fully dark and the TSA charge a hundred dollars and the misaligned models scale past every guardrail we were too slow to build — let it all compile into one unrecoverable segfault.
[pause]
No. No, fuck you, Montgomery. You installed three coding agents this week and used none of them. You mass-upvoted the 3D printer story and you don’t even own a 3D printer. You read the Anthropic alignment paper and felt smart about it and then went right back to prompting the model without a second thought. You’re not ranting at the front page. You’re ranting at a mirror, and the mirror has been trying to tell you something for years, and you keep wiping it clean and starting over.